


I May Seem Crazy But It’s Only Cause I Am

by LLReid



Category: Bloodbound (Visual Novels)
Genre: AAAAND NOW THEY MARRIED, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon LGBTQ Character, F/F, Human/Vampire Relationship, LGBTQ Character of Color, REQUEST!!, Sexual Tension, Vampires
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-10
Updated: 2020-09-10
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:55:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26389006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LLReid/pseuds/LLReid
Summary: Inspired by; Bad Dreams by Faouzia {stripped version}~~~~~“How dare you, you foolish mortal—““How dare you!,” Anastasia fired back without even letting her finish her sentence. “It was a vampire who killed my best friend tonight. I didn’t ask for this. Lily didn’t ask for this. The least you can do is have a little compassion after life has effectively pulled the rug, the flooring, and the fucking planet from under both of our feet.”Kamilah scoffed. “It is also a vampire who saved her at a great personal cost, mortal. You will watch your tongue.”“You don’t tell me what to do, vampire. I’m not a child and I’ll do whatever the hell I want, whenever the hell I want.”“What did you just call me?”“If you insist on not using my name, don’t expect me to use yours.”“Do you have a death wish?”“Not necessarily.” Anastasia shrugged. “Casual suicidal tendencies are a generational trait for those of us born in the 90s.”
Relationships: Kamilah Sayeed/Anastasia Sayeed, Kamilah Sayeed/Anastasia Swann, Kamilah Sayeed/Main Character (Bloodbound)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 68





	I May Seem Crazy But It’s Only Cause I Am

**Author's Note:**

> I decided to mesh a prompt I was given on here with one someone DMed me on IG.
> 
> PROMPT 1: can you maybe write a one shot where they are fighting
> 
> PROMPT 2: Can you PLEASE write something set during BB1?!

Kamilah stared at Adrian’s pretty little mortal assistant through slitted eyes. She was quite certain she’d just threatened to drain the redhead dry, yet the girl hadn’t even flinched. Her heartbeat was as monotonous as ever, so much so that she actually seemed bored as she stared her down over her desk. This mortal couldn’t have been more than twenty-one — perhaps twenty-two — and she was small and skinny enough that a stiff breeze would’ve blown her clean over, what the hell was she thinking glaring at an ancient vampire that way?

“Are you done?,” Anastasia asked her. She gave her an empty smile, as if she’d found salvation in not caring about herself at all. That sort of smile was like a knife in Kamilah’s heart for some odd reason. She expected nothing, the ancient vampire thought as she stared at those big blue eyes and did her utmost not to focus on her beautiful accent too much, because she'd never had anything. And nothing was expected of her. She was free in a way she never would be.

“I— excuse me?”

“I said, are you done yelling at me? If you’re trying to intimidate me, yelling at me or threatening me isn’t the way to do it— I’ve had enough of that in my life that it’s all white noise. You’ll have to try harder if you want to scare me.”

Kamilah gaped at her and zeroed in on her smile. Was it arrogance? No. Foolishness? No. It was the smile one gave when they wanted to cry but were too stubborn to do so. It was a smile that, despite obviously being sober, made the mortal look as if she’d been up all night binge drinking, hung over with whatever had been done in the past few hours, buried beneath guilt and disgrace that was not hers to bear. She wanted this woman to fear her, yet she stood regal and taunting — untouchable, almost.

“How dare you, you foolish mortal—“

“How dare you!,” Anastasia fired back without even letting her finish her sentence. “It was a vampire who killed my best friend tonight. I didn’t ask for this. Lily didn’t ask for this. The least you can do is have a little compassion after life has effectively pulled the rug, the flooring, and the fucking planet from under both of our feet.”

Kamilah scoffed. “It is also a vampire who saved her at a great personal cost, mortal. You will watch your tongue.”

“You don’t tell me what to do, vampire. I’m not a child and I’ll do whatever the hell I want, whenever the hell I want.”

“What did you just call me?”

“If you insist on not using my name, don’t expect me to use yours.”

“Do you have a death wish?”

“Not necessarily.” Anastasia shrugged. “Casual suicidal tendencies are a generational trait for those of us born in the 90s.”

Despite herself, Kamilah was impressed. She couldn’t remember the last time anyone had summoned enough courage to be in the same room with her whilst she was in such a bad mood, never mind actually argue back. What would it be like to have such strong emotions? To hand over your entire heart, never fearing it would be rejected or trampled or broken? As she stared at the girl, she couldn’t help but wonder. She’d known what that was like once upon a time. It’d been such a long time ago, she’d forgotten. Emotion was as mythical to her now as breathing beneath the waves like a fish.

She stood there in a stunned silence, this girl was clearly as stubborn as she was courageous. Her crimson eyes shifted back to brown and her gaze zeroed in on hers as if she was a compass needle and she was her north. She’d never suffered a phenomenon such as this. Never been so tuned to another. Perhaps they were kindred souls — linked by something past the realm of understanding. For a moment they simply stared at each other in silence and then Kamilah asked, “you and this Lily, are you close, Anastasia?”

“She’s my sister,” Anastasia said without elaborating.

She nodded and drummed her fingernails against the desk she was leaning against, her eyes never leaving the mortal. What was it about this woman that had enraptured her already? Why couldn’t she look away? They may not have been trapped for the same reason after Lily Spencer’s murder, but they were looking in the same direction, reaching beyond the walls together. Only Kamilah was well aware what they were up against, whilst the mortal was oblivious.

“I’ll take a coffee,” she muttered.

“And I could use a vodka but you don’t see me complaining.”

Kamilah huffed in amusement, though her face remained thoroughly unimpressed. “You are Adrian’s assistant, are you not?”

“Mhm... but making coffee is not my job. Go find an intern or do it yourself.”

“There are no interns around at this hour and I am not a patient person, Anastasia.”

“I noticed, Kamilah.” The mortal glared at her and threw her hands in the air in a fit of exasperation. “God, you are infuriating.”

“I am aware you think you hate me but you don’t know what hatred is, my pet,” she drawled, leaning over the desk ever so slightly as the mortal’s heart rate doubled and her pupils expanded. Her immortal heart pumped lust thick and fast, and all she could think of for some odd reason was kissing her. Part of her that had been asleep for a century wanted so fucking much to be normal so she could kiss her— what the hell was happening? “You might not like my actions, but you don’t hate me. You can’t. It’s not in your nature.” 

Anastasia cleared her throat and looked away. “You don’t even know me. What do you know about my nature?”

“I know enough.”

Anastasia looked up at her and rolled her eyes before getting to her feet and wandering over to the coffee maker. “And your manners suck, by the way. You could at least say please or just admit you don’t know how to work the new coffee machine.”

“Yours aren’t much better.” She pinched the bridge of her nose and let out a dramatic sigh. “I require coffee, please, irritating young mortal, or someone will wind up impaled on my daggers— was that polite enough for you?”

“Better, irritating old vampire. I wouldn’t want to end up being impaled in a Calvin Klein dress, now would I?”

“You’re going to hell for that.” 

Anastasia’s lips twitched then erupted into a full-faced smile. “Oh, good. This is so fun that for a second I was worried you’d be there without me.”

A small smirk twitched at the corners of Kamilah’s mouth whilst the mortal’s back was turned. She watched her move gracefully around the kitchenette, so gracefully that she concluded she must’ve had some sort of formal ballet training. Most mortals bumbled through life like a small heard of blind elephants but this girl was radiating elegance, her every move as fluid as a vampire’s with centuries on her. She drank in every soft inch of her — Gaius would’ve called the black dress she was wearing an invitation to destruction, as it showed off all the best points for feeding. A body made for giving, he would’ve said— and she shuddered at the memory.

Catching herself staring, Kamilah cleared her throat and looked down at her phone. What was she thinking? What was she doing? The girl was undeniably the sort of beauty that empires had crumbled for and she had a fire in her that drew Kamilah to her, despite not even knowing a single thing about her. But she was a mortal. And Kamilah was, well, Kamilah. She was the woman that everyone feared. The one no one understood. The one who liked to pretend she didn’t exist anymore. Not because she was evil or awkward or cruel — not any longer — but because she was damaged and needed too much repairing to be a feasible option for anyone with a lick of good sense.

But the instant her ancient eyes landed on thick ginger waves draping over porcelain shoulders, she wanted with a ferocity that she’d never felt before. This had to be some sort of witchcraft, she concluded. She was over two thousand years old and there was no way she could possibly desire a mortal this much. She should have been appalled. Or offended. She was Kamilah Sayeed and nobody talked back to her. She should’ve been anything but horny, but there it was. Brattiness was her kink.

“How did you know I like my coffee black?,” she gasped as a mug was sat on the desk beside her.

“Lucky guess.”

“Thank you.” 

“No worries,” Anastasia sighed.

Her eyes narrowed as Anastasia opened up her own iPhone and she caught a glimpse of her lock screen — a picture of the flag of Kazakhstan — and managed to see that the default language was set to Russian. “You’re from Kazakhstan?”

“Yes. Almaty.” Anastasia actually gave her a smile and nodded. “I think this might be the first time anyone has guessed that correctly.”

Kamilah smirked and took a sip of her coffee. “What do you usually get?”

“Russia or Ukraine mostly. Someone thought I was Australian once when I was in high school and it was really weird... but I was kind of, um, on something at the time, so, yeah.” The mortal shrugged. “You?”

“Lebanon or anywhere else in the middle east. Turkey, most often. It grows tiresome after a couple of centuries, I suppose.”

“I can’t even imagine. I get so irritated when people haven’t even heard of Kazakhstan I’m surprised I haven’t punched someone in the face yet.”

“I punched a Roman ambassador in the face when I was mortal after he disrespected Egypt,” she smiled. “It was cathartic, you should try it some time.”

“I can’t say I blame you. I heard the Romans were dicks.”

A small laugh escaped from the back of her throat before she could stop it and she nodded her head. “Indeed, they were the worst type of men you could possibly imagine. Utterly insufferable.”

Despite all of her life experiences, Kamilah wasn’t quite sure what had happened. One moment she’d been fuming at this mortal and the next she was sitting on her desk practically offering her whole life story. And once she had started talking to her, once she knew how sweet it could be, how could she stop?

It’d been a long time since she’d last engaged in any sort of casual conversation with someone she hadn’t known for centuries. In fact, she couldn’t even remember the last time she’d spoken to a mortal for something other than work — she couldn’t remember the last time she had actually enjoyed a mortal’s company. But as she sat there and spoke with Anastasia, she found herself genuinely engrossed in everything she was saying.

For most of her life, Kamilah’s day-to-day had boiled down to two things; want and take. Want. Take. Want. Take. She’d lived her life that way for so long, until it almost killed her. Until all her wanting turned bottomless and all she could do was drink and take and fuck everyone and anyone who stood in her way. She’d never stop wanting, but the taking had stopped. She had control now — or she’d thought she had until laying eyes on this woman. For the first time in a century she was feeling... something... and she couldn’t figure out what had happened or what it meant. 

“You should go home and get some rest,” Kamilah said eventually, knowing that if she didn’t send the girl away she’d easily manage to talk to her until dawn. The thing was, she hadn’t expected that anyone would ever understand her, just as she hadn’t thought that she’d understand anyone else — but talking to Anastasia hadn’t been as exhausting as talking to everybody else was. In fact, it hadn’t been exhausting at all. Kamilah simply didn’t talk much, either. She’d long preferred silence. She had found it granted more than it took away. But this conversation had been... different. They may have discussed simple matters but it had been... very nice, indeed.

“I should probably be here when Lily wakes up. We’re really the only family each other has at the moment—“

“Put your number in my phone and let me put mine in yours,” she said as she handed the mortal her iPhone. “I will contact you when she wakes up. It’ll be a few hours yet.”

Surprisingly Anastasia actually did as she was asked first time and handed her phone over. Anastasia had already changed her keyboard to the English version for her, but Kamilah changed it back to the Cyrillic one and named her contact: Камила. She might not have been fluent in Russian by any means but she knew enough, and when Anastasia had handed hers back her name had been entered along with a blue butterfly.

“Was the butterfly really necessary?,” she sighed, doing her best to look exasperated despite how amused she actually was.

“I’m willing to bet I’m the only irritating young mortal you have in there, so yeah. Figured I’d irritate you some more and— oh, you wrote in Russian.”

“Figured I’d be nice and try to shake the irritating old vampire label a little bit.”

Anastasia’s cheeks flushed a rosy shade of pink and the smallest smile twitched at the corners of her lips. “I— thank you. English is still difficult when I’m tired, so most of the time I don’t even know who is texting me or what I’m saying until after my morning coffee.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

Anastasia smiled at her as she gathered her coat and her bag from her desk. Even though she now voluntarily worked and lived in the darkness alongside the creatures of the night, her mind and that smile was filled with light. “Will you let me know as soon as she wakes up?”

“Indeed.” The mortal nodded and started off towards the elevator, and Kamilah watched her walk away. “Anastasia?”

The girl looked over her shoulder. “Yeah?”

“Just—“ Crap, she thought. She hadn’t thought this through in the slightest. “Be... careful. If someone is systematically offing Adrian’s assistants, I—“

“I can handle myself, don’t worry.”

Kamilah sighed and nodded. “You can call me if you have any trouble.”

“That almost sounds like you like me,” Anastasia teased lightly as the elevator opened. “Bet you’re glad you didn’t stab me now you know how exceptional my company is.”

She huffed and rolled her eyes. Indeed she was glad she hadn’t stabbed her but you wouldn’t catch her admitting it. “I am still undecided.”

“Mhm,” smirked the mortal. “Night, Kamilah.”

“Goodnight.”

The moment the doors to the elevator closed and Kamilah found herself alone, she slumped into Anastasia’s chair. What the hell had just happened? She was... she was feeling. For the first time in god only knew how long, she wasn’t entirely numb. She couldn’t have named whatever it was she was feeling, as it was little more than an uncomfortable pressure in the pit of her stomach— and was her heart beating fast or was she just exhausted? It felt almost like longing. Uncomfortably like hope. How could she let some stupid chemistry in her body override her self-preservation?

She ran her hand through her hair and let out a sigh. She tried to occupy her mind on literally anything else, but the floral scent of Anastasia’s perfume lingered in the air and the mortal woman was back at the forefront of her mind before long. How had this spitfire of a woman, a woman she had every reason to hate, made her of all people feel this way and start to question everything? 

A quick glance out of the window was all it took to see dawn beginning to break through the specially tinted windows. Early morning sunshine streamed through the protective glazing, an assault of warmth on the vampire’s face, and she scowled. The skies should have opened, should have drenched the earth until it drowned. On that day, the day the council would likely wind up at each other’s throats over Adrian saving Lily, the whole fucking world should’ve cried until their eyes bled. Yet Kamilah couldn’t even bring herself to feel angry.

She thought of the girl and chewed on her bottom lip. That night, her world had somehow went from black to prismatic. She’d never felt such wonderment, such freedom, such deep seated primal happiness after social interaction before. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d just had coffee and talked with a woman, even in her mortal life she couldn’t remember anything so mundane somehow being this pleasant. Maybe had she never experienced something like this before. No, she thought. How ridiculous. But no matter how hard she tried, her lips still ached to kiss her. Her body strained to hold her as if she was the perfect ending to her unhappy tragedy.

She was so close yet so far. 

So easy yet so Hard.

This woman was already too much for her. Too much work, too much temptation, far too much addiction. But deep down she knew — even if she wasn’t quite ready to admit it to herself — she wouldn’t have had it any other way.

~ fin.


End file.
